The National Tourism Association of Chernarus is a non profit organisation aimed at lowering the amount of death and outright carnage amongst the socially handicapped people of this great land. An attempt is being made to stifle the amount of random killing by showing off some of the highlights of this backwater nation currently experiencing full apocalypse conditions. Unfortunately there are no guided tours and the onus is on the seemingly endless influx of tourists to navigate their way around. Remember, bring a hat, a raincoat and supplies for at least a two day trip. A weapon is handy, but please... remember your bag limits when hunting wild game, if you're not going to eat it, don't kill it. The following locations were all visited by Bear Grylls trained experts at great risk to themselves to make it easier for you, the tourist, to find and enjoy.
The Valley of the Elk.
Click me for location 106/023
A deep rift that flows down from Ostry Mount just North West of the lovely tow of Krasnostav. Elk can found here quite often in rutting season when the males gather to battle for the hoof of the liveliest females. Move slowly and quietly in this valley so as not to scare the Elk into attack mode. An elk antler in the eye is not a good look, just ask one eyed Sergay... the Elk whisperer.
Click me for location 106/023
A deep rift that flows down from Ostry Mount just North West of the lovely tow of Krasnostav. Elk can found here quite often in rutting season when the males gather to battle for the hoof of the liveliest females. Move slowly and quietly in this valley so as not to scare the Elk into attack mode. An elk antler in the eye is not a good look, just ask one eyed Sergay... the Elk whisperer.
You will notice in the above picture our hardened bush warrior has positioned himself behind a pile of fallen trees so as to become one with the environment.
As soon as he has broken cover the Elk has been instantly alerted and is telling him in very strong terms. 'Leave my valley two legged foreigner' ..which he did.
The Corner of Death
Click for location 091/058
A sharp right turning corner that comes off the crest of a pre apocalypse rally track. It is named for the astonishing Hollywood type death of Lok McRae when giving absolutely zero fucks he hit the top of the crest in full slide and at full noise. His overpowered and understeering vehicle launched through the air, smashed through the overhead power wires and exploded into the top of the forest canopy. They say in the middle of the night, when the mist is settling in, you can still him changing gears.
Click for location 091/058
A sharp right turning corner that comes off the crest of a pre apocalypse rally track. It is named for the astonishing Hollywood type death of Lok McRae when giving absolutely zero fucks he hit the top of the crest in full slide and at full noise. His overpowered and understeering vehicle launched through the air, smashed through the overhead power wires and exploded into the top of the forest canopy. They say in the middle of the night, when the mist is settling in, you can still him changing gears.
The track leading down from the Corner of Death. Gives me chills.
The crest.
What Lok McRae would have seen as he hit the corner at insane speed. To the right of the first corner at the bottom is a lovely natural spring where one can quench ones thirst, don't forget to fill those water bottles travellers !
The infamous Devils Castle, a place of torture and frivolity. This remaining rock is the original site where they started mining . Once a humungous rock formation, now, just a shadow of it's former self. The ancients toiled for many years here before they realised there was in fact more than enough rock at the site of the castle itself, in fact only mere metres away. If you look closely you can see the marks of the ancient hoes they used to carve pieces out with.
The Stain of Shame
click for location 078/050
Even after all of these centuries the stain of many hundreds of men and women all urinating in one spot for over a year has not be cleansed by nature. It is a testament to the durability of man and the affect we can have on the environment. Think before you unzip, don't piss our forests away.
click for location 078/050
Even after all of these centuries the stain of many hundreds of men and women all urinating in one spot for over a year has not be cleansed by nature. It is a testament to the durability of man and the affect we can have on the environment. Think before you unzip, don't piss our forests away.
AKM For scale, banana not available.
Return mission, banana for scale.
The 9 Raging Boners of the apocalypse
click for location 080/060
Legend has it that in between an earlier apocalypse and the current one, a time known as 'The Mod', nine immortals roamed the land, teleporting at will, carrying all sorts of high end weaponry and possessing an ability to conjure items from the ether. A great power was assembled called Battleye that fought endlessly with these immortals creating havoc and rage all across the land. Finally the nine were trapped atop a small rise and smote down, in defiance they turned their mortal selves into hardened rock boners and fused with the landscape to warn all travellers that at anytime, anywhere, they could reappear and rape you of all your worldy possessions.
click for location 080/060
Legend has it that in between an earlier apocalypse and the current one, a time known as 'The Mod', nine immortals roamed the land, teleporting at will, carrying all sorts of high end weaponry and possessing an ability to conjure items from the ether. A great power was assembled called Battleye that fought endlessly with these immortals creating havoc and rage all across the land. Finally the nine were trapped atop a small rise and smote down, in defiance they turned their mortal selves into hardened rock boners and fused with the landscape to warn all travellers that at anytime, anywhere, they could reappear and rape you of all your worldy possessions.
The sign reads ' Here menacingly stand the nine raging boners of the apocalypse'. The bush warriors thumb boner is an example of what not to do. Don't do it. Everyone takes that picture at this site. It's not funny or original.
The Levitating Bale
click for location 074/036
Nobody has an explanation for this, there is none. It's a bale, it levitates.
click for location 074/036
Nobody has an explanation for this, there is none. It's a bale, it levitates.
Ghost Cow Field
click for location 094/036
The sign says cows, there are fields, there is hay, there are barns. There is no cows. As the sun drops and it becomes dusky your eyes can play tricks on you and you may swear you can see a cow in the distance. You can't. Thought you heard a moo ? No you didn't. It is another one of the unexplainable mysteries of this wide land. Well worth the effort to travel this area if only to experience the chilling breeze of these empty fields.
click for location 094/036
The sign says cows, there are fields, there is hay, there are barns. There is no cows. As the sun drops and it becomes dusky your eyes can play tricks on you and you may swear you can see a cow in the distance. You can't. Thought you heard a moo ? No you didn't. It is another one of the unexplainable mysteries of this wide land. Well worth the effort to travel this area if only to experience the chilling breeze of these empty fields.
A location that brings home the bare bones rawness of this land. Large muscled men toiling hard with their shirts half undone, sweat gleaming on their wild chest hair as they sing like no one is listening and swing their massive axes deep into the the thick wood of the gnarled forest trees. Felling trunks left and right and then heading back to their timber cabins deep within the dark woods for a night of hard drinking and men stuff. Makes me proud to have come from such stock. Just looking over these logs and into the fields beyond makes me want to undo my shirt and fell a thick tree.